Is this how you want to live — deceiving & lying? I get it, hate losing, and can’t admit defeat. You cling to whatever you can. The moment you made recovery about others, you started on a bad path; you never turn back. You can’t have told the truth. It takes ages. We lied for years, and in a distorted world, we can no longer tell fact from fiction.

How did you do it so quickly? Taking into account the first weeks are withdrawals and landing on planet earth. How? It’s impressive. Superhuman. Find reality, true identity, and untangle a giant web of deception that fast? You did none of it, did you? Let me guess — meetings, sponsor, support group, running, vitamins? That’s a start, but success is only 8–12%, closer to 5% since addicts lie. I was sober 60 days — how many real truths? ZERO. Alone, no distractions. Did you even try? You’ve lied & worn masks for years, so genuine change? In weeks?

Real change isn’t a performance. It’s quiet. Trepidation. All internal, never seeking validation or praise. Addicts who exaggerate recovery early, have a big story or “wow” moment, make grand apologies, speak of shame… Classic addict behaviour.

True change starts inside, not proving to others or winning them back. Addict manipulation? After years of lies, it shows fake remorse. You did what you always do — picked yourself over others. To a real recovered addict, your show is everything recovery isn’t. It fools those who deserve to be let free, but we know vulnerabilities — love’s a weakness. I first saw the circus 21 years ago. Now it’s a dream for some addicts — a stage with an audience far bigger.

Ever think why you got addicted? With alcohol & cocaine, the common man’s Dutch courage is grandiosity, being the centre of attention, storytelling, the “look at me” act. Same as your recovery.

Quitting is the easy part — you’ve failed so many times. Confidence was less than the one before, almost zero. Each failure scared me more. So when recovery happens, you’re full of caution. Zero trust in yourself. But within weeks, you’re dancing on social media? Fear wasn’t enough — you had to take it to a bigger stage. It’s comical, sadly, it works — tricks people who don’t understand addiction.

Most addicts relapse — 90% of alcoholics, 75% of cocaine users — first year. Social media never shows the day you were in a ditch with a bottle of vodka, crying. Interesting, Instagram must be immune to it.

My first relapse was year 8 — best thing. Out with friends, tempted. Disappointed they gave it to me. I left devastated. The next day was the first time I said I’m no longer an addict. Not a prisoner.

Zero desire to touch it and didn’t again until year 12. That one was proper — nearly two weeks. No excuse, but I was sad. Gave up on life. Hurt by someone real. Treated like… Scum. Shit. Dirty. Nothing. Showed plenty of work to do on my emotional regulation. I've been an addict for over 10 years, and I’ve studied addiction more than most. Two years alone in a room, 15 hours a day. This isn’t opinion — it’s research, studies, psychology. Nearly 25 years in it. I’ve seen more than I want to. Done it too. All addicts are the same.

Money’s the only difference — if they have it, WOW, that’s a liar for life. Pick those a mile off. Always protecting. The worst type of addict.

I feel sorry for addicts, but even more for the people we hurt. I did exactly what you’re doing now. I spent months sober without facing the truth. When you’re addicted, love isn’t possible. PERIOD. Addiction is everything love is not. Real relationships don’t exist — how? If you aren’t living in reality? You destroyed those around you and put them at risk. And now, sober, you do the same. You can’t even blame it on alcohol or drugs anymore. I’m not ashamed of being an alcoholic or cocaine addict. I’m ashamed of the disgusting human I was. Recovery means nothing if that person is still within. Is that you?

You think you’ve won. Your story hasn’t finished. The people you ruined the first time are going down with you again. They talk of pride and admiration for what? A lying, deceptive fraud. Even the addict who makes the greatest genuine change has nothing to be proud of. Back to his old self, the person before addiction… hmmmm… First, that person has gone forever, and secondly, think about that person… he became an addict, right???